I'm not the rudest person around. But I'm up there.

I might invest some time in this idea. Basically what I want to do is create a series of cards, about the size of a business card and written on them will be rules for various situations. I'm talking off the cuff right now but hear me out.
Now lets say you're about to sit down and watch a movie with me... I hand you a small card and on it is a list of rules that you should probably follow if you respect our friendship.

e.g. "Hello friend. Thank you for accompanying me (in watching a movie). Here are a few things to keep in mind"

1. Don't tell me the ending. Don't even allude to it.
2. If something funny happens, don't repeat it or point it out. We're all watching the same thing and you are not in any way smarter for pointing it out.
3. Don't ask what's going on. This is especially important if no one in the room has seen the movie. Just let us take the journey together. Movies usually reveal themselves by the end.
4. Don't spend 4 scenes trying to figure out "where that guy is from." As strange as it sounds, actors usually have been in more than one movie. You can imdb it later. For now, spare us all.

This is just a sample of what I plan to do. I might put some more ideas on here for different situations. What I'm really worried about is people taking offense to this. I mean the act of me handing someone a set of rules before a particular activity. Kind of rude? But fuck it. I'm what you would call "important" and "hard to please."